This is My House

One day you’re writing in autograph books, dreaming about the school prom and suddenly *POOF* you’re giving angpaus to your just married friends. That’s when you know you’re getting old and wrinkly. I dunno if I should just weep or throw back a couple of tequilas and sing "18 Till I Die" over and over again.

As far as weddings go, I’m sure each and every one is special. I know I’m always somewhat surprised to see two people who’ve reached that point in their lives. So many factors have to be in place before that happens. Its a scary thing because as far as commitment goes, that’s declaring it loud and clear, then and there.

Its always fun to see the groom get emo on that day cause you know he’s moved by the significance of the occasion. Not so fun when the old ah pek wearing a blatant hairpiece is staring at you like you’re the last satay in Kajang. Fun to watch the ecstatic and beaming parents but not so fun when the "food presentation" starts- usually to the deafening sounds of the ‘Final Countdown’ (which I never found to be an appropriate wedding song anyway).

Its a given that the bride will look stunning but the groom’s behaviour may vary. Some are happy to go with the flow and put up with the fuss; whereas some really get into it and perform a song or two. I’ve lost the number of times I’ve seen the groom reduced to tears while the bride (having done all her crying weeks before) swans down the aisle looking fabulous.

One of the sweetest wedding gifts I’ve ever seen is a huge mosaic made up of tiny pictures of the two of them during their courtship, gradually forming a bigger overall picture of the two of them at the beach. Obviously, the bride broke out in tears again as all the women in the room nodded with approval. Big points for originality there big D!

But here’s my personal take on weddings: its actually guerrilla warfare. I’m not saying all of them are but having witnessed a few I’ve concluded this. Behind all the splendour and sparkly dresses is the result of many months of political maneuvering and tactical moves befitting a top level CIA strategist. ‘Who bought the biggest rock’ ’she bought such an inferior gold/diamond ring/necklace’ and the Ultimate Wedding Move: A mother-in-law’s asking price for her precious daughter’s lai kum (wedding dowry)- a whopping $1 million dollars! HOLY COW! That’s astronomically stupid, not to mention greedy.

I thought weddings were meant to celebrate the start of two people’s lives together, not to ‘one up’ Mrs. So and so’s daughter or match some sort of imaginary standards for a certain level of socio economic class. You do what feels special to you right? Heck, maybe I’m just too naive about weddings.

But until the next wedding (August 07 in bewitching Bali!) its always fun to wonder when’s the next attack of the marrieds..