In Loving Memory
My aunt hung herself yesterday. The wake has already been held, and no one told me anything until after it was over (side effects of being 100000 miles away).
I apologise for the somber note, but I say this because I need to pay tribute to her in my own way, and to spread the word out that depression kills. It steals the will to live, to persevere, and to continue to fight the walls closing in.
I guess the signs were already there, with her being hospitalized earlier this year. She just simply gave up 1 day ago and told herself that there was nothing worth living for. Not her crap marriage, not her kids, not her many siblings, not her friends, not her dreams in life. She was told to retire from the company, and I guess it made her feel worthless, and unwanted.
I shall always remember her as the aunt who supported and advised me in my legal studies, she being a lawyer herself. The aunt who hugged me a lot, who always brought me to my favourite eating places in Ipoh and admired my stuff. She always made me feel welcome in her massive home with the pine trees. The cool aunt who’d have a smoke and debate about constitutional law whilst knocking back a couple of beers with me. ( I remember her favourite drink: whiskey on the rocks.) And she loved playing tennis and scuba diving before a knee injury stopped that.
Who really knows what goes on in another person’s mind? But I guess if someone you know is showing signs of depression don’t shut them out. Don’t treat them like they’ve got leprosy or some kind of transmittable disease. There is a huge stigma against people suffering from mental illnesses and pretending like it doesn’t exist won’t help. I now know firsthand how terrible the consequences can be.
Aunty CC.. I’m sorry that I didn’t know you suffered so. Wherever you are, I hope you’re at peace now. I’ll miss our chats tremendously.. take care.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:15 am
My deepest condolences, Mindy. *hugs* I am indeed shocked to hear about it. Although I have never met your aunt, I believe she was beautiful in many ways that unfortunately, she never knew it herself. When I hear about suicides, I always wonder what can drive a person to bring themselves to the brim and jump off. It is something that I can never find an answer to but perhaps, it is only in the minds of those who are severely depressed. At hearing such a tragic news, I would always hold dearly to heart those who are my true friends and that I can go to, always. Seems like a simple thing, but I guess it can become the biggest comfort of all. Mindy, just want you to know that you have me and many others you can go to for anything. =) That includes shopping, trying out new cafes, movies, coffee…blah blah
May 3rd, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Thanks Yan for your comforting words. It definitely helps when I have good friends on you to rely on. I also struggle to understand why..but guess I’ll never really know. C u for dinner one of these days.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Sorry I meant ‘good friends LIKE you to rely on.’ *blur*
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:06 pm
Heyy..no worries, anytime. =) Yeah, looking forward for the next eating spree! Take care, ya..
May 4th, 2006 at 6:50 am
Hey Mindy..so so sorry to hear the news. Hope you’re alright. We’ll talk more on the weekend. Call if you need support or if there’s anything we can do.
May 5th, 2006 at 10:42 am
Hi there, so sorry to hear about your aunt. Just know that she’s now in a better place….hugs, ur old friend from MLC, Tina.
May 5th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Tina&Nick: Thanks for your comforting words. Really appreciate it.
May 10th, 2006 at 3:02 am
Hi Mindy - terribly sorry to hear about this. Hope you and your loved ones can deal well with this, and hope it brings you all closer together.
Please feel free to call if you need to let a load off, too. Take care yeah?
May 21st, 2006 at 3:27 am
Thanks Jonathan
When will we go for dinner@VDM?