This is My House

Here’s an example of what I would consider a well-written song, with decent musical arrangement. Wonder what it would be like if I attempted the piano piece? Considering I haven’t touched the piano in ages, I might end butchering the song..

Concrete Angel by Martina Mcbride

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she’s holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace
Oh….
The teacher wonders
But she doesn’t ask
It’s hard to see the pain behind mask
Bearing the burden of a sacred storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Chorus:Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she’s loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes
It’ll be to late

Chorus:Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she cant rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she’s loved
Concrete angel

A statue stands in a shadded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

This is one godforsaken rut i am tellin’ ya. Hope which was once full, now leaves me deflated like a forgotten balloon in the corner of a child’s room.

Why is this turning out to be a long neverending drop, instead of just a bump in the road? Do I really have the magic hand of turning everything I touch into a big pile of doggie dung? Crushing disappointment leading to a big pile of more @*&@^^!  B.S you wish you didn’t wake up to witness. As I sit here absorbing the harsh reality of what is my life, I want to be disconnected from the world, sitting in Bora-Bora sipping a maitai [insert guitar music here].

Bali

,

NY

,

Maui

. ANYWHERE but here. Trying hard to dig for some iota of optimism here but failing badly. Keep slammin’ into walls. Sick and really FED UP. Man, I wish today never happened.      

Its one of those nights which leads into daylight, when you toss around in bed..trying to sleep but to no avail. A hundred convoluted thoughts clogging your chest&mind, trying to will yourself to doze off until you finally sit up and blog cause really- there’s nothing else to do at 6:30am. ‘Tis still too cold outside to walk around. Or it could be the combination of coffee and good crime novel causing the insomnia..hmm.. O_O

HSBC’s letter of offer came through today, and with it- crunch time. To either stay or sign the dotted line, go home to be closer to dad. It is the sole reason why I would head back home to roost after being overseas for so long. Lots of people tell me to stay&work in Melbourne.

"Aiya,quality of life SO GOOD HERE, WHY you want to go back to Malaysia AH? Summore you PR, dun waste it!!" quotes A.

"Hours, pay and the management is shite in KL. Red tape&bribery rampant." headlines B.

Yes, but even so, it’s increasingly harder to stay in Oz. A sign of a healthy nest and a job well done by parents is the ability&willingness of the chicks to fly away after they’ve grown. To expand horizons, to discover new challenges,to carve a niche of your own right?

You leave the nest eagerly because you are now well-equipped, nothing to worry about because your parents have each other&are looking forward to the golden years. But what if you came from a lopsided nest, when one parent raised you and the other got left behind? You get a worried looking chick like me, half unsure, half fearful of the choices she makes.

As time marches relentlessly onwards, I do not have that peace of mind and thus, I cannot help but not want to fly too far permanently. It goes against all my principles& values to leave him behind in his old age even when career opportunities are better here for me.

Brain hurts now so sleep seems to be the best antidote.         

‘HECTIC-NESS’.. the one word to describe my past week. Thats why I am actually grateful to have a chance to sit at home and clean my oven, fry keropok and eat taufoofah.

The week’s highlights:-

1. Sunday- mad research for interview with PMI on Monday, then more mad research on HSBC that night for the next day. I didn’t want to be caught off guard by the interviewers so I tried to be prepared.

2. Tuesday- interview with HSBC (which I thought I was a goner cause I showed up a little late) and then took the Intel and HSBC people out to dinner that night at Chapel St, followed by coffee and delish apple crumble at Cafe Sienna. There was no conflict of interest as we didn’t have any interviews with Intel anyway. I had a great time that night, chatting and mixing with them. Plus, they were all working people and did the ‘fighting for the bill’ thing (and who am I to stop them anyway? haha) And a nice surprise- the HR manager tells me I am ‘IN’ before dinner. He’s one of those guys you just love to be around because he’s so funny and so flamboyant. Sort of like Jack from Will&Grace.

3.Wednesday- Intel people wanted to go sightseeing so we brought them for a quick tour. They saw St Pauls Church, Flinders St station, Fed Square, Southbank and Melb Central before flying to Sydney. Off I went to the RMIT bookshop to grab my How To Pass Advanced Numerical Tests books. Later on that day, it was off to meet Eric, one of the BAT guys for a cuppa and babka at Max Brenners. He saw the books I bought and told me if I didn’t screw up the numerical part, I definitely would have passed the assessment and interview round. Thanks bro, not like it helps now. Eeish.

4. Thursday- Writing and sending THank You letters to various companies, and reviewing my notes from the first interviews, in case there’s a 2nd rd interview. Not to mention shopping with SugaPuff before she goes away.

5. Friday- Classes the whole day and then splurging on 2 pairs of jeans at Bettina Liano. URKKK! I tried to think of it as my be-earlied birthday pressie..*Mindy curses late night shopping* ahaha.

That about sums up my past week.. next post shall be on Birthday reflections. tata!